I'm not sad, just disturbed(and confused). :)

I'm scared. Scared of the fact that I won't be able to succeed in life. It's a very difficult feeling especially when people around you are successful. There is so much to do and so less time for it and then whenever you slip there's no one to help you get up. The world may lend you a helping hand but you really don't get up unless you yourself realize what's wrong and get up yourself. One just can't afford to take life lightly after all life is what you make of it and I DON'T want it to be a joke. I hope I'll be able to do something about it rather than just writing about it and posting it on the web (I'll probably go and see a psychiatric).

I'm scared. Scared of the fact that the one I love doesn't love me that much. Does she pretend to love me? Or does she love me only because she finds me good looking(I'm not believe me!)? Or does she really love me(I guess she does). She's sooo soooo sooooooooooooooooooo much better. The people around her are so much better and sometimes I feel inferior. It's difficult to understand why. I wish I could look inside her heart and understand. I always fear I'm not able to make her happy(she's just too good for me!). I'm afraid she might just slap me one day for being incompetent. I wish I was better, I wish I could make her happy but things are not as easy as they seem. I try my best and I hope for the best. Babe, I'd just like to say sorry.

And then I close my eyes. The world around me is fast asleep. There's the sound of the wind(or maybe the AC) pushing against my ears(I think I'm too close to the AC). I think about everything I thought for a while and realize that I should tell my love about it. I type it all on my cellphone but as I am about to send it I fear I might disturb her. I close the phone and go back to sleep hoping she would understand me someday.

I never wanted to disturb her but I just get frustrated too easily! Simple and small things make me go mad. :(

I wake up the next day all refreshed. All my fears vanish when I read her text which says "I love you". I'm too easy to convince, I'm too gullible. I hope she isn't just kidding.

What inference can we derive from the shit above?
It's that sleep is best for health, it helps you forget all your problems and let's you escape from reality. :D

but you know all I said was true, the last line was just to make it a bit less serious(I really am not the serious type).

I hope the one I want to tell gets all the stuff.



and I'm sorry. :)



P.S. I'm lucky to fall in love with my best friend.

le aspettative

Those who don't understand the title may find this helpful : http://translate.google.com/

okay so ummm let's get it started! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKqV7DB8Iwg&ob=av2e :D

There is this friend of mine(Miss.SJB) who recently organised a party for my other friend(Mr.BT) on his birthday. It went well, we at the tuition enjoyed a lot and Mr.BT was quite happy with what happened.

about a month later......

It's Miss.SJB's b'day and we all(almost all) wish her and guess what? Mr.BT doesn't even remember her b'day. Miss.SJB is quiet for a while but after the class dissolves she starts crying and I after watching this go there to console her, I always had a soft heart for people who cried in front of me(that's probably why I'm broke right now!). So she cries about how she had done so much for that guy(I think she likes him) and that even though she didn't want anything in return she at least expected him to wish her.

STOP!
rewind...........
"she cries..." NO!
forward.........
"anything.." no na!
thoda sa aur forward...
"expected him..." EXACTLY!

That's what I'm gonna talk about today, expectations.

All of us are good people, everyone has a soft corner in his/her/--- heart no matter how hard we pretend to be serious. I am just like that. I try to be the serious guy, the smart and sensible one who knows how to cope with everything in life and in return I expect people to find me as I want them to. Everyone of us expects something good from the people around them and hence they always try to be nice to everyone but what if things go otherwise? What if you never get what you expect? It's always a bitter feeling. You feel bad and then get depressed and we know what happens then.

"Expectation tumhari ek aisi beemari hai jo mai bhi theek nahi kar sakta" that's what Raghu Ram told the contestants on the sets of the famous MTV show Roadies and I agree with that guy. I believe no one can do that. It is you who has to understand. I personally believe that expectations usually(I said usually) lead to catastrophic results. You don't get what you want(often gifts :p ), you feel ignored, no love and stuff.
It's alright to expect from your loved ones and very close friends but then one must not trust everyone with their heart. One should always be smart and alert about things. Like for instance I'm expecting my girlfriend to reply(I guess she is asleep) to my texts but no, she seems unaffected(wait till she reads this, I'm dead then).

What I think one should do is that he/she/--- should stop expecting anything from people because when you do that you are prepared for the worst and anything better than that is more than welcome. It comes as a surprise and not as something you expected so you feel more happy. I know this stuff is easier said than done but I've gained quite some control over this.

Start thinking about yourselves people! Helping every time doesn't help. I did that and I know. Being the nice guy doesn't work anymore and as my mum says "ye duniya aisi hi hai Mehul, sab apna kaam nikalwate hai yahan pe". I think she is right. I may be wrong about everything I wrote in this post but I know she is right. You have to be careful of backstabbers. They leave you the moment their work is done.
Oh no! I'm sorry I wandered off the topic a little.

Miss. SJB now(after having a chat with me) is a very happy girl. Mr. BT finally realized what sin he committed and got her a gift when she least expected it. I bet she was very happy(more than when he would've given it to her on her b'day)

I'm glad to see that my talks help people but then I never expect any of them to help me in the future. This is a cruel world, every man for itself. I know what I said may be wrong and I bet there will be many people who will contradict this but being masochistic(not in the sexual sense) gives you another pleasure. Something you can't get by being nice. Something you get by being Mehul Purohit.

celos

this is the first one so don't kill me if I go wrong anywhere!


okay you guys must have seen Rocky(Sylvester Stallone), great movie, absolutely fantastic!

okay sorry it was a very lame way to start. Very lame indeed!
Well what I'm gonna talk about today is something we have all experienced in our lives, something which is an important, awkward, (un)comfortable and sometimes embarrassing emotion in our lives.
Love? (no),
Fear? (of course not),
Anger? (pagal hai kya?)
Remorse? ...???? (tell you what, GO DIE RIGHT NOW!)
.
.
well then
.
.
ummmm...
.
.
.
.
Jealousy? (10 points!)
.
.
okay joke's up.
According to Wikipedia :

Jealousy is a secondary emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger,sadness, resentment and disgust. It is not to be confused with envy.

Jealousy is a familiar experience in human relationships. It has been observed in infants five months and older. Some claim that jealousy is seen in every culture; however, others claim jealousy is a culture-specific phenomenon.

bas, zyada nahi.

Jealousy is a very strong emotion, it makes us perceive things in a very different manner. Being jealous is not the same as being envious but for now let us assume that they are practically the same things.
I was jealous once....

(My inner voice) : don't lie buddy!
Me : I ain't lying!
(My inner voice) : u telling me? ME?
Me : okay okay lemme get back to my blog, I'll edit that.
(My inner voice) : Good boy! todo lo mejor(Spanish for all the best)

so where was I? Oh yes, well you see I was jealous many times in my short life(16 years, 335 days, 1 hour 36 minutes and counting).
I envied a lot of people(classmates mostly), the guy who played the guitar, the girl who always topped the class, the guy who snatched my place as the lead singer(I could kill him!), every guy who talked to my crush(I bet it happened to you!) and the most handsome guy of the class to mention a few.
All this leads to the creation of a certain desire in your heart, the desire to be the one you envy, to seize everything you ever wanted and in short, to kick everyone's ass.
But during this we forget who we are, we lose our identities and strive to become the one we always admired(or envied in our case). What one should remember is that they are great as they are, they just deteriorate as they change. One should have faith in himself/herself. It's not just about being the best, it's about performing as per your potential and becoming better. Nobody's perfect.
So being jealous is good but only as far as it helps your cause i.e gives you a reason to become better. Unhealthy competition is always disastrous.
What I learned in life is that we should focus on becoming better and stop comparing ourselves with others and when we do that, we become great, the ones to be envied,
and once people start envying us, life can't get better!
cheers! :)