I'm not sad, just disturbed(and confused). :)

I'm scared. Scared of the fact that I won't be able to succeed in life. It's a very difficult feeling especially when people around you are successful. There is so much to do and so less time for it and then whenever you slip there's no one to help you get up. The world may lend you a helping hand but you really don't get up unless you yourself realize what's wrong and get up yourself. One just can't afford to take life lightly after all life is what you make of it and I DON'T want it to be a joke. I hope I'll be able to do something about it rather than just writing about it and posting it on the web (I'll probably go and see a psychiatric).

I'm scared. Scared of the fact that the one I love doesn't love me that much. Does she pretend to love me? Or does she love me only because she finds me good looking(I'm not believe me!)? Or does she really love me(I guess she does). She's sooo soooo sooooooooooooooooooo much better. The people around her are so much better and sometimes I feel inferior. It's difficult to understand why. I wish I could look inside her heart and understand. I always fear I'm not able to make her happy(she's just too good for me!). I'm afraid she might just slap me one day for being incompetent. I wish I was better, I wish I could make her happy but things are not as easy as they seem. I try my best and I hope for the best. Babe, I'd just like to say sorry.

And then I close my eyes. The world around me is fast asleep. There's the sound of the wind(or maybe the AC) pushing against my ears(I think I'm too close to the AC). I think about everything I thought for a while and realize that I should tell my love about it. I type it all on my cellphone but as I am about to send it I fear I might disturb her. I close the phone and go back to sleep hoping she would understand me someday.

I never wanted to disturb her but I just get frustrated too easily! Simple and small things make me go mad. :(

I wake up the next day all refreshed. All my fears vanish when I read her text which says "I love you". I'm too easy to convince, I'm too gullible. I hope she isn't just kidding.

What inference can we derive from the shit above?
It's that sleep is best for health, it helps you forget all your problems and let's you escape from reality. :D

but you know all I said was true, the last line was just to make it a bit less serious(I really am not the serious type).

I hope the one I want to tell gets all the stuff.



and I'm sorry. :)



P.S. I'm lucky to fall in love with my best friend.